I've canceled my EVE characters. Haven't deleted them yet but the $35 I was spending a month on that game is now going into the Camaro fund.

I test drove an SS the other day.

Yes, that car was so fast, I will stop playing video games to get it!

Just got back from the Chevy dealership.

I went there with the idea that if I sat in a new Camaro, I would find that I am too big. After all I'm taller than the average guy and a car that is too cramped, even if it's my heart's desire, is not a car for me. I've never considered owning a Corvette simply because the cockpit is too cramped.

Sadly, I fit into a Camaro like seat belt. You had to press a button and pull to get me out. to use the only adjective that is allowed when discussing a Camaro, it was Bitchin! Note that your right shoulder blind spot is three times larger than any blind spot I've been in. (easy to correct, just pass the car on the right and then merge.)

I had to leave because there was no point to torture myself any longer.

There was a 78 year old lady who was down there to pick up her black fully loaded SS Camaro. I'm going to watch the obituaries...

For lack of anything else to call it, that's what I'm calling my social coma. A coma that I'm starting to climb out of.

This Friday I'll be starting leave. 10 days away from work where I can spend time puttering around my new digs and finding a place for everything. Moving from the old place to the new in a two week period gives me the opportunity to prove that I'm not the pack rat my father is. (We'll see how much junk I actually toss.)

Work is slowly becoming less stressful. Tomorrow we start our last (hopefully) over night training exercise. Thursday will give me time to wrap up any loose ends. And Friday the Navy is promoting me to Petty Officer First Class, proving that they are nuts.

The slow spiraling disorganization of my old house mirrors the disorganization of my personal affairs. The new place is starting out as orderly and is also much better in its feng shui. Hopefuly will help me revitalize my personal life.

Not sure if I'm stressed, depressed, or sick.

I'm loosing interest in things I used to like.
Didn't go to Kung Fu today. Didn't call my brother-in-law. Allowed my EVE subscription to lapse and I don't care.

I'm really not sure what my deal is.

I'm actually looking forward to work on Monday, which is sheer insanity, because at least when I'm at work, I have something to focus on.

In an effort to avoid turning this into a journal of drama and doom, I've avoided posting. I'd say I was at my wits end for a while, but the light at the end of the tunnel, was in fact, not a train.

I spent the last three days at the weapons range on the Marine base. One of those was overnight. In three days I think I racked up a total of 12 hours of sleep. I am mentally and physically exhausted.

I personally fired 500 rounds of .50 cal. 1500 Rounds of 7.62 medium machine gun. 250 rounds of 9mm pistol and 700 rounds of 5.56 rifle at some extremely dangerous wooden targets. (Some Marines even helped with artillery.) No one got hurt and everyone is now qualified. That's more or less all I cared about.

My scores where the lowest they have ever been since I joined the Navy. I evidently had no desire or motivation to "do my best" but just numbly pointed and pulled the trigger. Only two of my comrades scored higher than I did on the rifle. One sailor bested me by one point on the pistol.

Someone asked me how I felt about "losing" my #1 spot on the marksman list. I was silent for a while then replied "Nobody is perfect." They laughed and then I added "Which means if the targets had actually been firing back some of us would be dead. How do you feel about writing the letter to their parents explaining how their child died?"

This freaked a few people out since I'm usually much more cheerful at work. within a few moments I was in one of the tents alone with the Corpsman so he could evaluate my mental health.

"Are you thinking of hurting yourself?" no
"Are you thinking of hurting others?" no
"Has anything happened to you in the last 48 hours that we should know about?" no

Doc's prognosis was that I was simply tired and he gave me some energy pills so that I could push on and finish the training evolution. Today's lesson: As I am expected to not be jovial when they want me to be serious I am not allowed to be serious when I am expected to be jovial.

I am currently putting together a package that will switch my rating from Master at Arms to Intelligence Specialist. A move that will likely keep me in the Navy another four years but more importantly will keep me happy. It will also involve actually doing things I expected to do when I joined the Navy. As in, going to sea aboard a ship. Instead of wearing cammies, sleeping in tents, and in general, acting like a less efficient and less capable Marine unit.

Things I WILL do this weekend! (even if it kills me.)

1) Go to Kung Fu.
2) Clean up my Office.
3) Organize all my stuffs.

And if you have never watched "The Venture Brothers" season three is now on DVD. That's 36 fantastic episodes that I am sure will bring a smile to each and every one of you.

Worked for Ford Prefect...

Anyway, after a long day of talking to my superiors, I've managed to figure out a few things.

It's unlikely that I'll be sent to Spain at this point. IF I end up going, it will only be for a short time. (60 or so days) Not the seven months as was previously thought. I would need to go while they qualify more people. once more people are qualified, they won't need me or who ever they send.

So the panic is over.

Part of this panic was brought on by the inability of one senor officer to see more than one solution to a problem. The other part was caused by one petty officer who is unable to convey simple thoughts with the power of speech. When he said "you'll be gone for the whole deployment" he didn't mean the whole 7 months that the deployment would last, but rather the 30 to 60 days that a single mission would take.

So when said that we would need to send a few people from my detachment and they would need to go for the whole deployment, the senior officer said fine, pick them and they'll go.

Why is it that the people with the title "boss" are usually the least qualified to have that job?

I may be going back to Spain for 7ish months.

I don't even know what to say about that myself...

I think I forgot I had this.

I was going to post a big old story about how the Navy, and the government in general is borked but I had an attack of acute apathy.

Maybe I did this in an alternate reality. I'm sure it had a few good bits that got some of you to laugh.

In other newz... It's February.

Three things I don't do well.

I currently have Seven friends, five in state, one out of state, and one out of country, that I've neglected/hurt/angered/whatevered due to the fact that when I hit a certain stress level I completely fail to communicate.

Well, at least in the way that 99% of the people who read this communicate. That one percent being me.

Despite my tech-savvy nature I've never really been an email guy. Or an LJ guy. Or a blog guy. or any kind of guy that uses a computer to talk to people. I'm a very vocal/use odd voices/sound effects/wave hands in an Italian manner type communicator. I don't like using a phone or a voice over IP because I prefer to see the reactions of the person I'm talking to rather than imagining them. And if I'm on the phone I pace like a caged animal. (Web cams are of Satan and will steal my soul)

The point is I like to do things in person.

Deployments plus upcoming missions plus my parents having emergency surgery plus the fact that I'm leaving the Navy in a year get ready to move out of Navy housing find a job that will support me, a wife, and a possible kid on the way (add to that the fact that I'm not sure, regardless of how many muppet voices are in my toolbox, how good a father I will really be) AND getting ready to add full time school to my schedule has stressed me out.

just a bit.

It wasn't until I wrote the above paragraph that I realized how many things are on my plate right now.

My blackberry was my last link to my email. It always beeps at me and that's how I usually keep up on things. Last Wednesday I realized that the data plan I have with Sprint inexplicably was canceled on December first.

So I sent email from my phone, text messages, and blackberry messenger to people who never got it. And because I'm not good at keeping up on such things, didn't realize it until last week. And since I don't have much personal (as in looking eye to eye) contact with those people... well you get the idea.

I think at this point I've contacted all those people in someway. Hopefully. If not then, wow am I sorry. (I suddenly remember that I need to turn on my Xbox and look at my messages there...)

So,

I think my phone works now. I'm checking all modes of comms that I have. Hopefully I can unfuck any relationships I have with people who I've neglected/hurt/angered/whatevered in the last 90 days.