Seriously I'm so excited about this, if you told me I could either have Season 4 on DVD or a new Camaro SS in my driveway...

Ok, I'd totally take the car. BUT! If you said Season 4 on DVD or a band new laptop... Actually I really need a laptop right now.

SEASON 4 OR SEX! I would...

Look, I'm really excited about this. Really. Here, just watch, damnit!

NYPD/FDNY

USA/USN/USMC/USAF/USCG

"Let's Roll."

For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to be a gangster.

Wait, scratch that, wrong story.

For as long as I can remember I've always wanted a Camaro.

Not because it was the best car, or the fastest, or depending who you ask, the best looking. My father has owned a 1968 Camaro since before I was born. Some of my first memories are of sneaking into it while it sat in the garage and playing with the shifter making engine noises. I was too short a tot to see over the dash but the '68 had a bank of gauges mounted in the center console right in front of the shifter and they worked for me.

2002 is a black year on my personal calendar because GM discontinued the Camaro. It seemed my only option was to get something pre-owned and finding a good condition Camaro is damn near impossible.

2006 brought a glimmer of hope when GM debuted a Camaro Concept that looked fantastic. My pessimistic nature told me that there was no way it would look like that when it hit the show room, if it was produced at all.

Imagine my surprise when not only did the new Camaro look exactly like the concept and I was actually in a position to get one.

Well, I told my self I was. I was a wee snowball and I was going to fly through hell unscathed.

The problem starts with 16MPG.

16MPG is a horrible, filthy, gross, number that is in the same category as kicking puppies and ruining ponies. It's also what my trailblazer gets on a good day. The cost of gas alone was killing my bank account.

Now, if you're going to get a Camaro, you get the V8. Plan and simple. Even though the V6 had 304hp and is actually faster than the '68 in my dad's garage, choosing it over the V8 defeats the whole purpose of getting a Camaro. Right? Well, that's what every Muscle Car Gear Head thinks anyway. My brother threatened to disown me and my best friend at work would never speak to me again if I bought a V6 Camaro. Very rational, I know.

But the Cheap V8 runs for 31K. After tax, license, financing and yadda yadda it is more like 36K. Plus, even with a shinny 24MPG highway, it actually averages 19. And if I have a lead foot, 18. So, I'm getting rid of my trailblazer to have a higher monthly payment and a wee bit better gas mileage.

The end goal here was to save money. Focus Arlen...

To get a Camaro, and get gas mileage that didn't ruin my bank account the V6 was the compromise I would have to make to have both at once.

Right up until I got down to the dealership and looked at getting one. I was faced with a hydra of issues. First of all, there are no Camaro's on the lot. You have to plop down $1000 to order one and it will take at least 6 to 8 weeks for it to show up. Plus if you can't contract the car when it arrives, you lose the $1000 and someone else buys the car. I am upside down in my trailblazer worse than Snoopy in a dogfight. A V6 that I would want with the options I want is 30K. Well, hell I may as well get the V8 right? Even the base line Camaro is 24K. Add all the fees and tax and what have you and I'm 27K. The negative equity that I would carry over is greater than the GNP of Peru. Monthly payments on a cheep camaro would end up being more than if I bought a fully loaded SS AND that's assuming the bank would finance the loan. I need to get out of this trailblazer something fierce because $200 in gas a month is obliterating my savings and the finances aren't going to last another two years while I pine away for something sleek and sporty.

All of the above was known to me before I went down there but I think I was hoping for a miricle. Like, suddenly John Elway was going to show up, see that I was wearing a Broncos hat and buy me a Blue SS Camaro. And since he's the hell of a guy that he is, hall of fame and all, he'd hook me up with free gas for life.

Instead when I walked in and and explained my car situation the guys at the dealership, they looked at me like a bum who wandered into midnight mass and demanded the entire bottle of wine.

They say that to recover from any mental illness, you have to get over the denial.

Still in denial, I walked over to the Volkswagen side of the dealership. Just two months ago these guys had cut us an awesome deal on a Green Beetle for my wife. So, I figured they might have a really cheap car I could get myself into and out of my Trailblazer.

After looking over the Trailblazer they said that I had two options. A *blank* or a GTI. Yeah, I don't remember what the other option was because when he said GTI my brain went ZING!

No way man. No way I can get a GTI. That's like, a fun car that is cool and stuff.

Even with the discounts they threw at me plus good laptop money down, it was going to take some magic to handle the overhead from the Trailblazer.

It took him about 24 hours but the finance wizard at the dealership sacrificed some goats, prayed on a mountain, and fiddled with a magic 8 ball to get me into a 2009 Black GTI.

Granted, it's not a Camaro. But it is fun to drive, it's very quick, and driving home from work tonight I scored 30.8MPG on the way home.

The Camaro can wait until I actually hit my mid life crisis. Until then, Das Auto for me.

I got a new blackberry the other day.

It's much nicer than my old one. However 90% of my data such as phone numbers, addresses, birthdays, all that jazz, is gone.

The guy at the shop said he could transfer everything. So I let him monkey with it and when he said he was done, I told my own phone to wipe its memory. Wups. Guy at the shop didn't quite get everything.

So anyhoo, if any of you would like to send me a private message I'll gladly add any info to my new phone.

In the mean time, I'm going to dig up old records and see if I can find out what day is my father's birthday... It's sometime next week... I think.

I've canceled my EVE characters. Haven't deleted them yet but the $35 I was spending a month on that game is now going into the Camaro fund.

I test drove an SS the other day.

Yes, that car was so fast, I will stop playing video games to get it!

Just got back from the Chevy dealership.

I went there with the idea that if I sat in a new Camaro, I would find that I am too big. After all I'm taller than the average guy and a car that is too cramped, even if it's my heart's desire, is not a car for me. I've never considered owning a Corvette simply because the cockpit is too cramped.

Sadly, I fit into a Camaro like seat belt. You had to press a button and pull to get me out. to use the only adjective that is allowed when discussing a Camaro, it was Bitchin! Note that your right shoulder blind spot is three times larger than any blind spot I've been in. (easy to correct, just pass the car on the right and then merge.)

I had to leave because there was no point to torture myself any longer.

There was a 78 year old lady who was down there to pick up her black fully loaded SS Camaro. I'm going to watch the obituaries...

For lack of anything else to call it, that's what I'm calling my social coma. A coma that I'm starting to climb out of.

This Friday I'll be starting leave. 10 days away from work where I can spend time puttering around my new digs and finding a place for everything. Moving from the old place to the new in a two week period gives me the opportunity to prove that I'm not the pack rat my father is. (We'll see how much junk I actually toss.)

Work is slowly becoming less stressful. Tomorrow we start our last (hopefully) over night training exercise. Thursday will give me time to wrap up any loose ends. And Friday the Navy is promoting me to Petty Officer First Class, proving that they are nuts.

The slow spiraling disorganization of my old house mirrors the disorganization of my personal affairs. The new place is starting out as orderly and is also much better in its feng shui. Hopefuly will help me revitalize my personal life.

Not sure if I'm stressed, depressed, or sick.

I'm loosing interest in things I used to like.
Didn't go to Kung Fu today. Didn't call my brother-in-law. Allowed my EVE subscription to lapse and I don't care.

I'm really not sure what my deal is.

I'm actually looking forward to work on Monday, which is sheer insanity, because at least when I'm at work, I have something to focus on.

In an effort to avoid turning this into a journal of drama and doom, I've avoided posting. I'd say I was at my wits end for a while, but the light at the end of the tunnel, was in fact, not a train.

I spent the last three days at the weapons range on the Marine base. One of those was overnight. In three days I think I racked up a total of 12 hours of sleep. I am mentally and physically exhausted.

I personally fired 500 rounds of .50 cal. 1500 Rounds of 7.62 medium machine gun. 250 rounds of 9mm pistol and 700 rounds of 5.56 rifle at some extremely dangerous wooden targets. (Some Marines even helped with artillery.) No one got hurt and everyone is now qualified. That's more or less all I cared about.

My scores where the lowest they have ever been since I joined the Navy. I evidently had no desire or motivation to "do my best" but just numbly pointed and pulled the trigger. Only two of my comrades scored higher than I did on the rifle. One sailor bested me by one point on the pistol.

Someone asked me how I felt about "losing" my #1 spot on the marksman list. I was silent for a while then replied "Nobody is perfect." They laughed and then I added "Which means if the targets had actually been firing back some of us would be dead. How do you feel about writing the letter to their parents explaining how their child died?"

This freaked a few people out since I'm usually much more cheerful at work. within a few moments I was in one of the tents alone with the Corpsman so he could evaluate my mental health.

"Are you thinking of hurting yourself?" no
"Are you thinking of hurting others?" no
"Has anything happened to you in the last 48 hours that we should know about?" no

Doc's prognosis was that I was simply tired and he gave me some energy pills so that I could push on and finish the training evolution. Today's lesson: As I am expected to not be jovial when they want me to be serious I am not allowed to be serious when I am expected to be jovial.

I am currently putting together a package that will switch my rating from Master at Arms to Intelligence Specialist. A move that will likely keep me in the Navy another four years but more importantly will keep me happy. It will also involve actually doing things I expected to do when I joined the Navy. As in, going to sea aboard a ship. Instead of wearing cammies, sleeping in tents, and in general, acting like a less efficient and less capable Marine unit.

Things I WILL do this weekend! (even if it kills me.)

1) Go to Kung Fu.
2) Clean up my Office.
3) Organize all my stuffs.

And if you have never watched "The Venture Brothers" season three is now on DVD. That's 36 fantastic episodes that I am sure will bring a smile to each and every one of you.